Shelby Talcott
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mindsets

8/1/2018

2 Comments

 
​“What ever happened to Shelby’s amazing (albeit slightly self-deprecating) blog posts? I really miss them!” Don't worry - to all three people who actually read this thing, my hiatus is (briefly) over, and here I am to throw some knowledge at you - although admittedly, I'm not 100% sure that I know what I'm saying, so if things go South, don't say I didn't warn you!

A lot of things have happened since my last post, but at the same time, it's as if nothing has happened at all! I made a few doubles finals this year, and reached my first singles final a few months ago, so I have successfully added an aggressive amount of second place trophies to my collection. But, of course, things haven't been all sunshine and rainbows (there has been a lot of literal sunshine here in Florida, but metaphorically speaking, I'd say my life weather forecast has been cloudy with a chance of sunshine and surprise thunderstorms!)

​After a tough few weeks on the road, I called one of my best friends today to whine and complain. He (nicely) yelled at me. “What have you been complaining about, Shelby?!” asks all three of my readers, on the edge of their seats, dying to know my trials and tribulations. Don't worry, you won't have to skip to the end, I'll tell you all right now!

To give you the Sparknotes version, I called to complain about my tennis (no surprise there). Specifically, I explained my frustration that I can't seem to truly believe in my game, and that I don't play every match like I play in practice. Of course, it has improved; last year, I probably played about zero matches as freely as I do in practice, and now I'd say it's a solid four out of ten matches. For the math whizzes out there, that's still only 40%! I'm still failing! (Potentially even failing with a curve!)

What's the point in playing if I can't play how I do in practice every match? It's not fun to go out and underachieve, and it's not fun to lose when I know I can be doing so much more. I get stressed out, nervous, annoyed, and the whole thing ends up being miserable. Why am I even playing if I don't always believe in myself?
​

Instead of being nice (New Yorker’s don't really do nice, so I should have known) my friend basically told me that I have to get over myself and just do it. Okay, Nike, as if it’s that easy (rolls eyes). Begrudgingly, as he continued to give me his opinion on my situation, I had to admit to myself that he had a point - and possibly a good point that I could actually use:

“One day, your tennis career is going to be over. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life regretting how you played and thinking of how much more you could have done. Don't you think I would love to be playing a game instead of walking home from my office talking to you right now? I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat, and you're wasting your time and money not going out and playing every match with the freedom that you have in practice. If you know that you could be so much better by just playing freely every match, and you're still not doing it, then you're a dumbass, and you're going to regret that. That's how you get confidence; just do it; sure, maybe you fail a bit at first. But you'll be happy with how you competed, and it'll get better and better, and you'll find the confidence to play how you practice every single day.” (Who knew I had smart friends?!)

Is this easy advice to follow? Maybe not. But, how else can I work on making that four out of ten into 100%? Clearly, doing things my way isn't working. Most importantly, I really don't want to look back and regret how I competed or how I approached things, because traveling around the world playing a sport is probably going to beat any desk job that I have in the future. What I'm realizing is that the worst thing that can happen by approaching things differently is that I fail. I'm failing a lot anyway, so who cares!
​

Who knows, maybe writing this down will actually force me to make the change. Being able to compete at the level that I practice at is something I definitely need to improve on, and it's a big mental change; however, I think that looking at it from a perspective of “this life isn't going to last forever, so don't have any regrets” is a pretty helpful way to solidify a new mindset. I'll let you all know in another year, which is probably when I'll get around to writing another one of these exciting posts - don't miss me too much until then!
2 Comments
KENT TALCOTT
8/27/2018 08:54:18 pm

Hi Shelby,
My name is Kent Talcott and I am from Sebastopol, CA. It some distant form we may be related. I won the Mens over 50 3.5 singles NTRP National Championship this year and was looking for photos from the event when I stumbled across your blog. As an aging tennis addict who has achieved a modicum of success in the last few years in beer league tennis I can tell you your friend's advice is fantastic. I have lived a very good life with success in my career, my marriage, and my family. All is very good for me but having achieved some recent tennis goals at the age of 50 leaves me wondering what if? Like you, I was a very good athlete at a young age and had opportunities to play both tennis and baseball in college. I ended up playing neither in lieu of focusing on academics. Not a terrible choice as it worked out fine but I still have a hole in my past with regrets that I did not pursue my athletic opportunities to the fullest in my younger years. In your case, your friend is absolutely right in that you are so very lucky to be doing what you are doing and you have the rest of your life to pursue other things. You are in a unique position that will only be afforded to you for a short time in your life. I can appreciate the difficulties you face on a day in and day out basis. My tennis coach is a former ATP touring player with a 9 year career but never ranked above the top 800 . We have talked a lot about the challenges of being a struggling touring pro. As difficult as it is, my advice for you is to embrace the moment. You do not know how far your talent will take you. However, the key is nourish your talent and simply focus on the process of getting better and playing with focus. Easy to say but hard to do. At my age, I have learned that focusing on the process and releasing concerns about the results gives me the freedom to play with the simple joy of hitting a ball. I know tennis is so much more difficult at your level but try to enjoy it, embrace it, and make the best of the time you have. Play with no regrets. Best of luck for your future.
Sincerely,
Kent Talcott

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Mariam link
3/18/2021 12:33:06 am

Nice blog thanks for possting

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    Former Hawkeye now playing tennis professionally; Journalism major.

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